I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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