There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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