remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
