I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
