I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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