More tranny stories later!
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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