I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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