so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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