It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
