Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
