when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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