So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize