I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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