So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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