He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
