I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
