i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
