The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
