it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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