I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
