It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize