hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
