He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
