We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
