Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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