I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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