I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
