So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
