the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
