Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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