In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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