I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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