Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
