Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
