google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
