By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
