I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
