You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
