it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
