2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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