Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
