So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
