margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
