He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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