So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
so much tequila, so little girl.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
