Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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