so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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