IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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