Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
