Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
