oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
