I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
