I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
