I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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