I love black thongs
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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