dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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