wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
