can u get pink eye on your cock?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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