I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize