Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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