I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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